I don’t really know how to start this blog. 1 week ago today Nikki gave me the greatest gift I have ever had and now I am head over heels in love with another man. A little man. Harry. Well Harry Gordon Sharp to give him his full name.
I can’t really sum up the feeling of being there as Harry was brought in to this world. Well I can, incredible, amazing, emotional, frightening and to be honest sometimes a little bit gross. I have all manner of stories I could tell about the day and how things happened but I think most of those are ones I will save for a rainy day. There are some which I can share however such as my realisation that some of the elements as depicted in movies are true. For instance when Nikki reached the 2nd, pushing, stage of labour I adopted the standard “man” position of kneeling at her head with a drink and a towel to mop her brow. I thought back to my induction training from Nikki which simply stated that I should avoid the business end and stay up top. All good I thought, I’ll pretend like I know what I’m doing, and keep saying “great job babe” or “well done Nikki”. That’s what the 2 midwives were doing and it seemed to be working to keep her calm. What I didn’t expect was minutes later to have Nikki’s hands round my throat gripping with the force of the Hulk – a quick glance for help to the student midwife was simply met with a look and a shrug as if to tell me “you’re on your own pal”. I also didn’t expect it to escalate quite as quickly as it did with the whole thing from arrival to screaming baby taking little over 2 hours! Not akin to the horror stories that people seem to take such pleasure in sharing.
That being said the midwives really were amazing, such a calming influence to both Nikki and especially to me when things started to happen. My only criticism would be that neither seemed to take my man flu complaints seriously at all, no sympathy was given and they simply continued to tend to Nikki who apparently was more important and the actual “patient”.
Then he was here, handed to me, still a weird purple colour and covered in, well, stuff. But there he was, our son, looking at me with the most confused face I have seen, scrap that the most beautiful face I have ever seen! At 9lbs 4oz I have to admit that I did panic at one stage that Nikki had given birth to a toddler, he was mahoosive!
So, I guess you want to see him then don’t you. Well here he is…. young Harry.
I know. Butter most definitely wouldn’t melt in that mouth would it!
So fatherhood has very much arrived. I have been trying to put the NCT stuff into practice but I have already realised that there is the NCT or the NHS or the “proper” way to do things and then there is your way of doing it. We don’t really have a clue what we are doing, but we are already having an amazing and adventurous time figuring it out on our own. That’s not to say we won’t take advice, far from it, we are happy to try anything and everything that could help us with Harry, but I have already realised that we ultimately know what is best for him and I already feel qualified to make decisions on his behalf.
That being said we have already had to learn a few things the hard way. The first lesson came at nappy time and it was a lesson that had to be learned twice. This was the infamous open air wee attack. I’m pretty sure I was warned that boy have a tendency to wee when their nappies are removed but i never thought that it would arc so high and hit me in the face. The face Harry! It was like a hate crime, a punishment for doing something that was already tough. I mean it happened whilst changing the old debut Marmite pooh which I can confirm I still most definitely hate. The second time it happened I even had the defensive nappy in place, and still he managed to get it over himself and the fresh baby grow!
The sleep deprivation element that I shrugged off as just new parents moaning is very much real. I’ve never felt like such a zombie as I have done over the past few days. In fact I write this whilst sat on my bed with Nikki and Harry both asleep alongside me and all I can think is how envious I am of their current situation and how perhaps I should have joined them rather than typing away on my laptop.
Nikki is taking to motherhood as amazingly as I already knew she would and to be honest most of the time I am looking to her for direction and to get the confidence that I’m not being the imbecile I feared I might be. We are both filled with self doubts about whether we are doing it right but we do make a good team and Harry will be the most loved boy in this town!
So I’ll leave it there for now as I can already hear them both stirring which means that one of them will probably cry soon and both will demand food.
Oh, and just to make sure I keep up the old Star Wars thread, don’t worry Harry is already getting into it thanks to Grandmas Yoda gift!
1 week in and our family unit is settling in to its new rhythm….