Another week down and we get to the end of week 10. Not too much has happened this week so I fear this may be a relatively short and potentially boring one. Not heard anything following the blood tests, which is supposed to be a good thing, so yay! We have now also got the date of the 1st scan which is a week on Monday. Exciting times ahead.
No appointments or anything official this week, mainly just avoiding the growing mood changes which seem to be more frequent already. I’m told these die down a bit in the 2nd phase, sorry trimester, so fingers crossed.
What I did do this week is try to download some apps for dads, but to be honest there aren’t actually any that are very good and none for the UK specifically. If I knew what to do I would say that there is a huge niche there for someone to own. I did download some of the ones for mothers to be which have proved insightful! I now know that bean (as we are calling him) is the size of a grape and has teeth! A little freaky! It also told me that my uterus would start to affect my moods and my nipples will start to get tender – they feel normal at the moment.
I also decided it was time to actually read up and learn what I have got me and the other half into so I bought what looks like a cracking book called “Pregnancy for Men” by Mark Woods. I’m on Holiday next week so Ill get that read and can report back. These posts might actually become a bit more insightful and interesting too. This is the book (not an affiliate link, just for reference).
We had a wander around Mothercare yesterday too just to for a browse. Shit me things are expensive. Saw a pram that was £950 and from what I could see the only difference from the “cheaper” ones was that it seemed to come with a tiny adjustable umbrella. I definitely think that I could modify one of those tiny trolleys and we would be sorted.
What I learned this week
- A pregnant woman eats what she wants, when she wants. There will be no input from husband, regardless of whether he means well or not.
- Pregnancy shorts are really comfy to wear – Joey Tribiani was right!
- We need to start saving more…
- Battlefield 4 is better than CoD!
So we jump straight into week 9. I think the easiest way to keep track of this journey will be to update week by week with my findings and thoughts.
It turns out that although we only found out we were actually pregnant a couple of weeks ago we are already at week 9 which is the first of many milestones.
The maths to work out how far gone someone is appears to be a little bit mental. It is worked back to the point of your partners last period rather than as I assumed which was to the point of conception. So by the time you find out you are pregnant you could already be at the 6 week point. The test that we did said to contact the doctors straight away once you get a positive reading, and by the way we did about 6 tests just to make sure, ranging from a £1 for 2 tiny wooden sticks from Asda all the way through to a £12 one that told us how far gone we were.
Either way they all said yes.
We rang the doctor that same day on the way to work and were told that we needed to head in for an appointment with the midwife, but not until week 9. For my wife this proved to be a tough few weeks as it was a sort of dead period where nothing really happens and we knew we couldn’t tell anyone as it was too early. Even now we cant really, not everyone, though we have told our parents. Many things you read give different advice on the subject but we felt it necessary to tell close family so that if the worst does happen we will have a support network there for us.
The Booking Appointment
The main event this week was the “Booking Appointment” – our first chance to meet our midwife for the next 7 months. Becca. She was really nice, though the appointment wasn’t what I was expecting.
It was a huge paperwork exercise. The NHS must sure update its processes soon! Either way the appointment is a chance for mum-to-be to ask any questions of the midwife and essentially to get booked onto the antenatal system for the local hospital. It is also where you get the first scan booked in for the 12-13 weeks stage. They also run through a host of questions about you and your relatives to build up a picture about what kind of things could crop up and if there are any hereditary conditions for them to be aware of.
Thankfully for us everything seemed to be fine and we are to follow the “standard” track in terms of our antenatal care program. Result.
We left happily logged into the system and clutching a “Bounty” pack which is full of information leaflets and samples for the other half to try. We also now have “the tome”. This is the other half’s info pack/notes that we have to keep in the car at all times and take to all appointments.
What freaks me out now though are the tests that we are going to be offered and the seemingly endless list of things which could go wrong. I know its unlikely but somehow knowing about them makes it worse – maybe ignorance really is bliss?
What I learned this week
- Don’t joke about the birth. Like at all. I tested the waters with this and it went down well, lets just say badly.
- Cravings can come and go without warning. Yesterdays must have food can be today satanic bile. Currently cheese puffs from M&S are on the good list. Tomato Juice has swung onto the naughty list.
- Sleep is the order of the day. be prepared for lots of TV watching or in my case PS4 playing whilst the Mrs gets another early night. I’m already level 35 on CoD!
- Mood swings are real. nuff said.
I think that’s it for this week. We now have another down period where nothing really happens for a while.
Roll on the scan!
So. It has happened. After getting married only 2 months ago I got the amazing news that my new wife was pregnant!
Life changed forever with the shake of a very cheap looking cardboard stick. 2 very distinct lines indicating that it had happened. We had both created a life!
We have talked about it and indeed have planned it. We are both in our early 30s so we knew we didn’t want to wait around but I think we both thought that it would take a little longer and to be honest had feared that we would struggle to make it happen.
But yay it has happened!! Now what though…. Crap. I’m absolutely not prepared at all…!
Once the joy of the moment subsided slightly I found myself stood in the garden thinking about how totally unprepared I felt for someone else in this world to look at me and call me dad. To look to me for the comforts in life and the protection. I’m only just used to the responsibilities of marriage, now its gone to marriage+
The idea of this site is for me to be able to so share my thoughts, almost I guess like a diary, and hopefully in a few months time some other new dads will look at this and it might help to subside the panic some what. It probably wont be full of advice if I’m honest, I can already see it being a site that I use as a type of therapy.
There are loads and loads of mummy type blogs out there and they have already proved to be a great source of information but for me, I want to see an honest appraisal of what it means for a dad to “be pregnant”. What can I expect? What should I know? What will I find out?
As a first time dad I wont even pretend to be an expert, in fact, I’m totally the opposite. An idiot is probably closer to the truth, but lets see.
For the moment we are too early for me to put any kind of names up and we havent really told anyone, parents aside, so for the moment I will go simply by the name dad on here. Dad. wow.
With the support of my wife I’m sure ill get through this testing 9 months.